Really?

Someone said to me, that my life is surrounded by psychos and weirdos. People surrounding me would, but I wouldn't say that.....at least at first. Coz they're just like...uhhH.... new friends/acquaintances ---> new relationships are made; old friends contacting/ trying to relive the old memories of the old friendships ---> the bonds are sweeter. SMSes exchanged. Calls made. Stories told. Memories recreated.

Later I would think back...and hard. 'Maybe they're just being who they are, and differences among people are inevitable.' Accepting that fact (though it may sound too idealistic), made me feel some sort of relief. No tension, no stress, no fear.

For now.

But how long can an ordinary person stick with the positiveness? .......When suddenly, they were trying to pull me into deeper relationships, redefining and rebranding the bonds into something they presume it's gonna be something I'm gonna like....and decided ' Oh heck...why don't I just blurt it out, once and for all...and see what happens?'

Do they even think about it any deeper? Do they even consider the 'what if-es' coming afterwards? Would they chicken out after knowing that I'm not at all the person they thought I would? Would they be whining and weeping over me choosing someone else then? Are they even sincere and serious?? I absolutely have no clue at all, coz I barely knew them myself!

This is not a mere relationship that comes and goes whenever you feel fit. This is serious business. A life business indeed. Not knowing one person good enough for you to confess something as extraordinaire-y as ****......it scares me. By a lot, actually. How desperate can one be over finding the right person for this, the suitable person for that, and the perfect companion for a lifetime...never fails to amaze me. And more interestingly, I find someone who isn't at all desperate even if he/she is old enough to have great grandchildren and not at all have any reason do they not want to get married...they're very brave indeed. Withstanding all the temptations and luxury the world can ever offer you endlessly, recognizing that there's much more to life than what a companionship/marriage can offer...that demand great courage. And the bravest of us all, are those who can tolerate both, achieve great things and still, have a dozen o' kids and 3 buses of granchildren!

I know I still hold the power. Power to choose what my likes, hatreds, ignorables, favourites are. Things can just barge into life, either give something away, gain something else in return, fade away or stuck to the end. This will somehow be a mere memory, something I wouldn't want to reminisce, that's for sure (am I?). The doubts, hesitations over not knowing something for sure are really good actually, but when they start to bother you more frequently......annoying! They are, really. But they can also be great stories when boredom starts eating up everybody's souls, too. Gossipers...they hunt and crave for these kinda stories (the way I see it, any stories will be a hit if they get their hands on anything).


Let me be free.....at least for another 2 years.




P/S: Having said all the above, please do not make a big fuss/gossips/speculations over this thing. This is my blog, and I intended to make it a peaceful and calm (-ing) one. Do support me. Thank you.